re-Discovering Sophonie

black blogger, black girl blogger, black woman writer, blog, healing, inspiration, inspirational blog, mental health

Today is Sunday, August the 8th, 2021. A few days ago I experienced something within a dating situation that really threw me off guard. Dating is not my favorite thing to do nor is it my favorite subject. However, if there is one thing dating always does for me, is allow me the chance to get into a mode of introspection. I am not one to say that I am flawless because that would be the furthest thing from the truth. I am flaw filled and fully aware of that. So although I would have enjoyed that dating experience to continue further in terms of us getting to know each other, I refuse to have any negative blood towards that person. I truly think that we were simply not aligned and that is okay.

Now what does this have to do with the title of this blog? You know there is always a method to my madness, so here it goes. Towards the end of June, I moved to Delaware. A few years back I could never see myself here but it has truly brought a newfound peace to my life. I’ve always been a city girl, no matter what state I resided in and I thought Jersey was it forever. But it was time for a change. I laugh at myself because when the idea was first brought up by my sister, I thought to myself, “What the hell is there to do in Delaware and also how am I going to flourish creatively?”

Anyways, right before moving, I had my very last therapy session since my insurance would no longer be valid since I had to leave my full time job. I recall my therapist asking me, “What would you call this phase of your life?” I replied by saying, “Discovering Sophonie.” That phrase felt so fitting and still does.

For the purpose of this blog, I added the prefix “re-,” because truth is I think that as children we know ourselves pretty well. It is the world that taints us and eventually we lose sense of who we truly are. Then when we get older, we become bitter in ways that makes no sense until we do the inner work. We begin to wonder why do we view ourselves negatively or even others? What about our inner child was so wounded that we now aren’t able to function freely and simply be who we are? We begin to feel lost or just out of place in damn near every section of our lives.

I have been experiencing this for maybe the last 5 years or so of my life. Trying to re-discover myself. As a child acting and writing were the only things I could seriously see myself doing as a career. Then in middle school, I discovered my love of Psychology and I added that to my list of passions. Now at 27, I sit here feeling out of place more times than not because I have not found the way to make any of these passions turn into an actual career. It feels like the last few years I have simply been playing ring around the rosie with life. No actual direction.

Regardless of those feelings, I am learning that the real issue is never centering myself enough to fully and truly understand what my own needs are. Allowing what I’ve been conditioned to believe about myself due to society, religion and family infiltrate my mind is what tends to hold me back. The idea that we don’t care what others say or think about us is genuinely bullshit for most of us. I’ve said it so many times but have never fully believed it myself. I do care how others feel about me and that is exactly why I tend to suffer.

I am not saying any of this for sympathy or even empathy at that but rather opening up the conversation that in order for us to actually heal, we have to be willing to accept and be ourselves regardless of what others think. You can still care about their opinions but allowing those opinions to stop you from living your life will never get you far in life.

The journey of healing is one that is constant, just as life is. So long as we are alive, I believe we have the opportunity to continue healing and ultimately grow. I may not fully understand this phase of my life but I guess that is the focal point of it. After all, it is a moment to rediscover who I am, what I want, what I need and where I want my life to be. No matter how many people or friends I go to for advice, the only person who can help along this discovery of self, is me.

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27 years of life, love, and healing

black blogger, black girl blogger, black woman writer, black writer, healing, inspiration, inspirational blog, life advice, lifestyle, mental health, self care, self help

Today is my 27th birthday and I must say I did not expect to make it this long. Not to be morbid but depression is a mothafucka’ and that mothafucka’ has tried to take me out a couple of times. However, I am also a short, sometimes stubborn Haitian woman. You have gotta’ really push me to my limit before the thought of actually giving up even actualizes in my brain. Granted I have given up on quite a few jobs in my 20s but they were no longer worth my time and time is something we can never get back. So in this piece I want to give you 7 reasons why I never fully gave up on life and why you shouldn’t either. Ready? You sure? Keep up cause I won’t be repeating myself.

1. The Beauty of Breath

There is something so peaceful and fulfilling when you truly take a step back to focus on your breath. Consider all of the functions within your body that ultimately work together to keep you together. Each inhale matched with its subsequent exhale powered by the inner workings of your lungs going in and out bringing oxygen to your brain. Next time you are stressed out, remember this and take a moment to simply breathe for at least 10 seconds.

2. The Beauty of Beat

Now this can apply to your heartbeat and the beat of music. I am a huge music lover so this is something I can talk about for days. The way a beat can be felt physically but also heard is something I will always appreciate and especially for those who may not be able to hear but they can feel. A beat can be felt by those who cannot hear, it can create stories in the ears of those who cannot see. Its sound-waves paints a picture that vibrates within the souls of us all. There is a certain energy associated with feeling the beat that makes you feel wired, energetic and alive. So next time you are feeling down, take a moment to play a song with an amazing beat or melody and just dance.

3. The Beauty of Being

As someone who has dealt with depression since my childhood, I know what it feels like to struggle with merely existing. I understand the pain associated with that thought and how it can tear you up from the inside out. I also understand that even in the pain, there is beauty on the other side of it. When you have struggled for so long but you continue to hold onto the faith that one-day things will improve, you are exercising a muscle that takes a lot of strength. You are so much stronger than you may even imagine but trust me you are. Please, keep going.

4. For the Love of Creating

Last year I started my first official business, JUSO Media Merch and the first product was a t-shirt line that read, “I Create to Live.” I’ve discussed in length what that phrase means but I’ll explain it for those who don’t understand. I have always seen my creative nature as a gift from God to keep my grounded and my soul fulfilled while here on earth. At the tender age of 8 is when I became a writer but I didn’t fully realize that was my true calling until a bit later in life. Either way I am happy to have arrived at that truth. The way that words pour out of me like a healing balm for those who need a word or two of comfort. While my creativity exists outside of writing as well, all of it comes together to bring me peace when I need it most. Creating helps to relax my mind, it puts me in the zone of building something out of nothing and it helps to ground me. Word to Ari Lennox, “You grow when you are grounded.” The last few years I have certainly been growing, healing and learning to genuinely enjoy living. That is what finding your true passion can do for you. So whatever you are passionate, please take heed and try your best to work in that passion daily if possible. Even just a little bit helps.

5. For the Love of Connection

In just a few short weeks I will be moving back in with family. I moved back to my home sate, New Jersey back in 2017. My goal was to practice on my craft, be closer to New York city for access and resources. Although I often feel behind in life when compared to my peers –which I shouldn’t be doing but I am working on it– I can truly say I have accomplished more than I give myself credit for. I started acting classes, applied for graduate school, got in but didn’t go. (Short but long story). I started therapy again and have seen my mental health improve tremendously in the last year and 4 months. I started an inspirational apparel company, started working on my first book, became more active on YouTube and started my own podcast. All in all, I did what needed to be done and I understood the assignment. However, one thing the pandemic has taught me is that I thrive off of connection. While I am naturally an introvert, I still enjoy the connection I have with close friends, family and even colleagues.

Connection is what keeps us in alignment with God’s promises for us. We weren’t created to simply be left alone forever but rather to fellowship with one another while on earth. Create memories, love one another and keep each other up when we cannot do it on our own. Connection is key. Even if you have to create your own family with friends or people online who share similar interests, find yourself a community that you can connect with. But always remember that your connection with self should be the strongest out of all. When you tap into your needs, wants and desires, only then can you provide others with what they may need or want as well. Always keep in mind we cannot fuel anyone else’s tank if ours is left on empty. Fill yourself first.

6. Healing Through Music

I have often attributed my emotional healing to my love for music. It brings me healing in moments when I may not be able to express how I am feeling in that moment. This can apply to other forms of art including dance, paintings, books, and even through photography. Being able to capture a moment, a feeling or a thought that can now remain in museum life for centuries to come is truly something special. That is why art and more specifically music is so essential to my life as a writer and someone who has battled depression. So to you I say, if you are battling depression or harmful thoughts, try to create a personal playlist of good music that brings you hope when you need it most. Here is the one I created that many of my friends enjoy listening to. Check it out.

7. Healing to Breathe

So we have reached our final thought. After being in therapy for a year now, I have realized that I lived most of my life barely breathing. Most of my true self has been submerged into this water like form of what I think everyone expects me to be. Therefore causing me to suppress my own feelings, thoughts and views just so that I am accepted. by those who love me and society. But how does that benefit me? How does benefit any of us to suppress ourselves so that others can be more comfortable around us. If someone can’t be comfortable around you because you are even slightly different then they don’t deserve your presence. Regardless, I am thankfully healing now so I am slowly but surely coming out of my people pleasing phase. Healing to breathe easier is one of my greatest accomplishments in life thus far. I pray that whoever you are and wherever you are reading this, that you too can begin healing to breathe. You deserve to breathe easy.

If you enjoyed this piece, share it with loved one or close friend. Also, make sure to share your thoughts below. Thank you for reading.

Photographer: Melissa J.C./@guyatiannarrative (Instagram)

Makeup: Sarah O./@glam_byher (Instagram)

Model: Sophonie M./@justsophonie (Instagram/YouTube)

Living Life In Limbo

inspiration, inspirational blog

#ThrowbackBlogSeries

DISCLAIMER: The following post is an original post from my first blog She.Is.Splendid. Over the next few months I will be sharing some of my favorite and most impactful pieces with you all. Enjoy! Please make sure to comment and share with someone who makes you smile.

Do you ever feel as if you are on a moving train but its wheels are stuck on the tracks? I know it may sound cliche but the train to life metaphor is one of my favorites. After all a train is often comprised of multiple carts that exist with one another to create an entire vehicle. Just like life is comprised of multiple days, incidents or episodes to create an entire lifetime. Not every lifetime is the same and not everyone’s life is lived for the same amount of time.

As of late I have been feeling that my life is stuck in this rigid position. I am stuck between being excited about my future but feeling as if I have outgrown my current circumstance. Specifically, I am also in the midst of another big move just one year after my first big move. As a 20 something year old I am just learning the real world of adulthood and it is hard. Now, I know some of my peers are experiencing this with a significant other or even with kids which I understand can make life seem more difficult. I must say I am happy not to have those additions in my life because I’m still learning who I am and what I want. Also, I am not fully prepared for those responsibilities.

But, as I am learning who I am there are these constant moments of me feeling as if I am at a really bad 80s Hawaiian themed party and I keep replaying a game of limbo.

Now when I first titled this post it was simply based on the game I knew growing up, Never did I know that limbo is actually a Catholic term that means that place between Heaven and Hell. Prior to this I was only familiar with the term “Purgatory.” I won’t get too deep into it because this isn’t a religious post. Both terms limbo and purgatory essentially mean the place between where you are and where you may or may not be going. (That can get really eerie and philosophical so try not to think about it too hard).


However, I often get stuck worrying or wondering about what is to come next. I become fearful of the future because obviously it is the unknown. Or even when parts of the future are predictable, I find myself anxious to get to that next part. So I begin wandering in this position of limbo which can get really sad and lonely. I guess my reasoning behind creating this post is to serve as a reality check for all of us. Unfortunately we cannot control everything and damn near anything in life. Except for our reactions to life’s events. Yikes! I know that hurts for some of us (mainly me).

But I know for a fact I begin to feel restless and am restless in this season because I am being reminded that ultimately it is God who is in control of my life. Sometimes it’s hard to fully hand over that control (for those who are not believers this concept might be a little strange). Regardless, I think it is important for us to become accustomed to these moments of limbo. We can learn a lot from it too.


Unfortunately we cannot control everything and damn near anything in life. 

Yesterday morning I began thinking to myself “Rather than allowing this moment of limbo to scare me, why not allow it to empower me?” Listen, it takes a whole lot more energy to frown than it takes to smile. So when I really sat down to reflect, I realized that my worry or fear about the next step was only causing even greater anxiety than necessary. I am already an anxious person in general but the added focus on what’s to come adds insult to injury.

I know it’s hard but we’ve got to find a way to program our minds to worry less and hope more. Yes there is so much that we don’t know, so much that we don’t understand but there is so much for us to learn. Rather than allowing fear to enter our minds, kick up its feet and become dormant, it is important to recognize that emotion and tend to it as needed. You don’t need to add water to it, it’s not a plant. Do NOT. I REPEAT, do NOT fertilize it, don’t give it any of your energy because I promise you it will grow. Fear has a habit of flourishing when fed.

We’ve got to learn how to use our moment of “limbos,” as a space to prepare for our next moment of certainty. 

In this More to Life Monday reflection I want you to think about whatever you might be fearful of today. Take that thing, maybe think of it a few seconds or maybe even write it down. Consider this, that fear may or may not come true or perhaps it will regardless of what you do. However, I want you to understand that there is so much more to life than remaining stagnant in fear. As for me in this moment of limbo, there is more to life for me than focusing on what is to come. I must use my current circumstance to fuel the reality of my next phase in life. We’ve got to learn how to use our moment of “limbos,” as a space to prepare for our next moment of certainty.

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

Sophonie

The Highs, The Lows

inspiration, inspirational blog, life advice

There are naturally highs and lows in life. Often times we embrace the highs because well duh who doesn’t like to feel good?? I’m not saying to embrace the lows to the point of no return BUT understand that the lows remind you to be appreciative of those high moments. I’m forever a work in progress. I’ve gotta let go of the idea that things will be set in stone. Life’s twists and turns will remain fluid and I’m a-okay with that.

My new goal for the rest of the year and my life really, is to be okay with what each day brings. Whether the day brings a high or a low, I’m going to plant my feet in the soil of those moments and embrace life regardless. I am going to remember that life isn’t always all that bad. I can choose to stay stuck in the lows or find some highs.

There is always joy tucked somewhere beneath the surface that you may not openly see. Find that joy, embrace it and keep right on pushing. Of course there will be moments where I may feel so low that it’ll be hard to embrace life but I will be patient with myself and allow that feeling to have its moment. Then once that feeling passes, I can continue on with the highs.

One of the ways I choose to embrace life everyday is by finding a song that brings me joy. I’m always discussing how much music means to me and honestly it’s one of my favorite gifts from God’s creations. With that said, I want to start implementing a song into certain posts to help bring you all some joy as well. It also helps motivate me to write more when music is playing so you’ll have an idea of what music inspires me.

Anyways, today I share with you a classic ballad by the high priestess of soul herself, the Queen Nina Simone. It’s one of those songs you can expect to hear in pretty much any movie across any genre.

That upbeat feel to it just makes you wanna grab life by the shoulders and show it who’s boss. It’s also said to be one of the songs that are able to raise your vibrational levels and literally pick your mood right back up. Check out this article that discusses music that can raise your vibrational energy and how it happens too. Energy is a powerful thing y’all. Be careful with the energy you’re picking up or putting down in the world. 

P.S. I choose that photo as my featured image because that was a day I was choosing to embrace life fully and it brings me joy when I see it 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

  

You Are Not Burdensome…You Are a Blessing

inspiration, inspirational blog, life advice, mental health

#ThrowbackBlogSeries

DISCLAIMER: The following post is an original post from my first blog She.Is.Splendid. Over the next few months I will be sharing some of my favorite and most impactful pieces with you all. Enjoy! Please make sure to comment and share with someone who makes you smile.

Please enjoy the song below while you read. Rest in Power Bill Withers. ❤

Do you ever feel as if you are a burden to others in some way?

I hope and pray your answer to this is no BUT if it is not, that is okay. I have felt that way for most my life and the great news is that we are not alone. (Come on now, you know misery loves company.)

Alright let’s get serious here. As a child I often had this strange feeling that I was in some way a burden to others. This feeling of being burdensome extended from friends to family. While no one in particular ever expressed that I was a burden to them, somehow deep down inside I always felt that way anyways. As I matured into a young woman this feeling of being burdensome grew right alongside me and followed me into the relationships I formed with men and platonic friendships as well. No matter how much other people have attempted to convince me otherwise, in my head it was always this idea that I held others down (and not in a ride or die kind of way).

FYI: This post isn’t going to be some major “Here’s how I got over it,” story, but it is meant to be an outlet for others who may feel the same.

In recent conversation with someone close to me I had to be reminded of the beauty that exists within having loved ones around who are there to support you. As an individual who has a lot of pride, is EXTREMELY independent, and who enjoys being fully self-sufficient it is difficult for me to be vulnerable or anyway dependent on others. However, within the past year it appears the recurring theme God is revealing to me is the need for “transparency,” and “vulnerability.”

Sometimes it is actually okay to depend on others. This does not in any way make you a leech or a horrible person (unless of course you can provide for yourself but choose to use others but that’s another story). So, no matter how much I desire to be completely independent, unfortunately in life that’s impossible. There will be a point in time when we all will need help from someone or somewhere. When those times come we shouldn’t assume that we are being a burden to others.

We are all in this world together with different strengths and different weaknesses. We are supposed to help lift others up as we also climb and vice versa. There is never a reason you should ever feel as if your existence or mere presence is a burden on others. By definition the word burden means “a load, especially a heavy one,” and burdensome means “difficult to carry out or fulfill.” Now when you see those two definitions side by side, does that sound like something that can be applied to a person and more importantly does that sound like it applies to you in the least bit? I know when I read it; it most certainly does not define me or my existence.
 

“There will be a point in time when we all will need help from someone or somewhere.”

I want you to really think about the aforementioned definitions, “Am I a load? Am I difficult to carry?” While we may all have our emotional and mental baggage, none of that is too difficult for us to carry when we have the proper support. Now if we choose to carry it all on our own then I can understand a feeling of heaviness within ourselves. But, this is why we need to be open to being more vulnerable with those who we trust.

“There is never a reason you should ever feel as if your existence or mere presence is a burden on others.

Now, I know we may not all have someone in our corner directly so perhaps reaching out to strangers (yes strangers) might be helpful. There are hotlines or now even apps where you can reach out to volunteers and professionals that will help you sort through issues you may not be able to sort through with family or friends. Nevertheless, I want you to understand that you and I, we all come with our own personal issues but we also come with just as many solutions for this world. You may not feel it or see it now but you help move the world forward every single day.

We contribute just as much to this world as the next person does. It may not be regarded as grand as the Oprah’s, Obama’s, or even Beyoncé’s of the world but it still damned good. We all have our individual purposes in this world and if you are a believer you know that God sent you to earth with an assignment specifically designed for you. So whenever you begin to view yourself as a burden in anyway, please remember that you are needed, necessary and most certainly NOT a load for someone to carry. We have burdens in life but we are NOT burdensome. We should be allowed to take up space and fill this world with all of our awesomeness. You have a space in this world and you have a place designated just for you.

With that said, I want you all to keep these main points in mind:

1) You are in NO way a burden

2) You deserve to take up space in this world

3) You have a place & purpose on earth

4) You are a blessing to others

5) Sometimes we need support & that is okay

 

Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,

 

P.S. For those who may not be comfortable with reaching out to family or friends about any feelings of being burdensome or any other issues below are a few links of helpful resources.

TalkSpace (An app for therapy on iOS and Android)

 BetterHelp

MentalHelp.net

PsychCentral

Live Your Best Life RIGHT Now!

inspiration, inspirational blog, inspo blog

#ThrowbackBlogSeries

DISCLAIMER: The following post is an original post from my first blog She.Is.Splendid. Over the next few months I will be sharing some of my favorite and most impactful pieces with you all. Enjoy! Please make sure to comment and share with someone who makes you smile.

For your listening pleasure:



Throughout this past year I’ve been on a self discovery like no other. I’ve learned to appreciate and see value in parts of my life I had once never seen. I’ve learned the true power of positive thinking and activated the law of attraction into my life. There’s so much more I could dish out to you about my improved mindset but I want this to be about you, splendid reader.

If you can allow yourself to get caught up in some of the atrocities of this world it will hinder you from a lot which is why learning how to focus more on the positivity that exists is so important. Of course there are times when we need to address issues for what they are but don’t forget to embrace the blessings, big and small.

Just last month I visited Mexico and as mentioned in my last Focus Friday Post I lost my wallet. Unfortunately I went crazy for about two days straight thinking it was left at the airport there but the following Sunday night I received an email from the airline that it was actually found at the airport back here in the states.

You see, when I focused all of my energy on the issue in that moment it wasn’t at all helpful. I did what it is that I needed to do which was follow proper protocols such as filing a report and such. However, even after doing all that I still felt the need to panic as if that would make it all better. Well, it didn’t but you knew that splendid reader because you are super smart (hence how you stumbled upon this blog and this post).


I want to keep this short and sweet for you so I need you to pay close attention here. Our energy in life is extremely sacred and it is up to each individual to be safe keepers of their own energy. When we allow ourselves to exert so much energy and devote copious amounts of time in the direction of what we don’t want, then we are preventing good things from coming our way. For some folks this idea is called “blocking your blessings,” or for others they say “you are getting in your own way.”

“Our energy in life is extremely sacred and it is up to each individual to be safe keepers of their own energy.”

With all that said, I realized that in the moment that my wallet went missing I immediately blocked the blessing of its return to me. I panicked, freaked out cried, and kept calling the airport back in Mexico. I even made a whole list of numbers to call from both airports. I googled the different department numbers and such. Granted, yes it made sense to reach out and make reports. However, when I look back on the way that I went about it, I became obsessive.


By the time Sunday evening came around a few days after I lost my wallet, I had already settled into the idea that finding it was no longer a concern. I came to terms with the fact that after all the wallet and its contents are replaceable. So in my mind I remained hopeful but also realized excessively ruminating on the matter wouldn’t do me any good. Thus, I allowed the universe to bring me whatever it was that I had manifested through previous good deeds and actions towards others. There have been several times throughout college where I found lost student ID’s and I immediately found a way to reach out to these individuals. Then during Mardi Gras this year back in New Orleans a man had dropped his license and I automatically picked up trying to find a way to get it back to him. Thankfully he had already started to walk back towards the area he had lost it. Of course on all of these occasions I was thanked abundantly.

“So in my mind I remained hopeful but also realized excessively ruminating on the matter wouldn’t do me any good.”

While this may sound bizarre to some, I truly do believe the universe and God blessed me enough to find my wallet. Rather than sitting around solely concerned with how life could get better for me, I allowed it to simply get better as a result of what I had already worked for. You see, living your best life isn’t about working yourself to the bone in an effort to make it. Don’t get me wrong, there is work to be done but you need to know when it is time to sit back and receive what life has in store for you.

So now, splendid reader tell me again what is holding you back from living your best or most splendid life? Are you blocking your blessings by thinking too much about how to get those blessings in the first place? Are you focused on the wrong things or consumed in negativity?

“You see, living your best life isn’t about working yourself to the bone in an effort to make it.”

If you are consumed in negativity, it is important for you to think of ways to remove yourself from that space. One of the ways I did so was by taking a social media hiatus from specific sites that usually put me in a troubled mindset. One of the ways I’ve allowed blessings to flow straight to me is by doing the work and moving on. Once you’ve done what you need to do for a situation it is okay to move on (i.e. my wallet story). In essence, as cliche as it is, I have been the sole blessing blocker of myself by focusing my energy in places that it didn’t need to be.

Nevertheless, in order for you to live your best life you’ve got to put yourself into that mindset first. Being consumed in negativity, being caught up with people who hold you back or in circumstances that stunt your growth is not the way to live your best life.

Today’s Takeaway

  1. Our energy is too sacred to continuously focus on what is troubling us, so focus your energy more on what you want versus what you don’t want.

  2. Do the work and move forward which will allow the blessings to flow your way.

  3. Remove yourself from negative situations as much as possible (i.e. people, jobs, social media etc).

  4. Be prepared for blessings.

Serenity, Smiles, & Positive Vibes,

Just Sophonie

To Impact or Impress?

influencer lifestyle, influencers, inspiration, inspirational blog, lifestyle, lifestyle blog

#ThrowbackBlogSeries

DISCLAIMER: The following post is an original post from my first blog She.Is.Splendid. Over the next few months I will be sharing some of my favorite and most impactful pieces with you all. Enjoy! Please make sure to comment and share with someone who makes you smile.

For your listening pleasure:

Upon first starting my blog two years ago I automatically felt the need to create this glorified online personality. Being the typical internet crazed millennial that I am, I basically grew up on the internet via YouTube and random blogs that I would frequent. So it only makes sense that I too would eventually venture off into the world of blogging. Nevertheless, I assumed that in order to keep the fire burning beneath my creativity I would have to amass this great following of people. But, as of late it has come to my attention that none of that matters.


As a kid I used to pray to God that one day my writing and creativity would help save the world in some way. Obviously you can’t actually save the world from itself but you can help heal different parts of it. Anyways, I remember back in March when I began to take my blog more serious thinking to myself “Damn, who even cares what I’ve got to say?” You see, my mind was so caught up in who I could impress rather than who I could impact. That right there is one of the worst mentalities a creative or influencer of any sort can have.

God did not bless me with the skill of writing or creativity to amass a great following of people online. God blessed me with this talent in order for me to fulfill my purpose through God’s plan. My mindset when first starting this blog was immature if anything and extremely vain.

Today, I have a small following of 60 people on this blog and honestly that to me is suffice. What more do I need if I am already impacting people? Recognition, accolades and praise on my content does nothing to fulfill God’s plan on my life. All that matters now is that I know I am putting my work out there and whoever gravitates towards my content is who will hopefully be impacted.

Overall, I want to encourage my fellow creatives to let go of the need to have a great amount of attention when it comes to your work. Of course, many of us would appreciate that following so that we can reach more people and hopefully make a profit from doing what we love. However, once financial or social capital becomes your main focus that is when you lose the true essence of who you are and the true meaning of your work.

I want to encourage you all not to lose the essence of yourself or your creative genius. Social support is nice and can be helpful financially but at the end of the day don’t sell yourself short just for attention. Aside from this blog, I began feeling the need to over emphasize my talents by being a little extra on my social media platforms. This is in part why I have taken a break from the main sites that influence me to behave as such.

Nonetheless, throughout this social media hiatus I have reflected this very factor, I need to allow my writing to speak for itself. I don’t need to impress the world, I only need to impact it and positively to be exact.

 

Serenity, Smiles and Positive Vibes,

 

Sophonie

 

One Step At a Time

healing, inspiration, inspirational blog, inspo blog

Originally Posted on November 18, 2017 by Sophonie

Our society today is inundated with this idea that success is just like microwaveable popcorn. I know that may sound strange upon first hearing it but really think about it. How long does it take for some instant popcorn to be made? The popcorn bag instructions usually state that it needs to be microwaved for about a minute and some change, so anywhere from 1:50-2:00 minutes. You throw your bag of popcorn in, set the cooking time, and wait for the joyful sounds of ‘pop, pop, pop’ to eventually ring in your ears and then within just a few minutes…


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BOOM! Your lovely snack or college dinner is done.

Now consider this, how many us of have actually made popcorn from scratch? I sure haven’t. In fact, as I am typing this I am googling how long it takes to make homemade popcorn. In fact, how many of us have even made popcorn using a popcorn machine? *crickets*

Popcorn Machine Goodness (Gif Source)




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Exactly. Now, if you have worked in food service or residence life back in college (me) you might be familiar with how to work it or at the very least how to clean it (…me again). Either way, if you are making popcorn on the stove or via a machine it takes time. Even the process after you are done making it takes even more time. You have to wash the pan, or the different parts of the machine carefully with soap to remove residue. Let’s not forget why or how these items got dirty in the first place. Think about the oil, and salt or your seasoning of choice. All of those ingredients eventually come together to produce buildup on the pan or the machine.

Speaking of machine, prior to even using it you’ve got to heat it up for a good 3-4 minutes first and the same thing goes for the stovetop directions.  All in all in order to make popcorn it takes multiple steps for tasty results. In order for some quality popped corn you’ve got to be willing to take it slow.

Now why the in the world am I referencing all things popcorn? You clicked on this post to learn what it means to take it one step at a time, right? If not, you are on the wrong post.

Alright, alright enough with the jokes, I know they’re getting dry.


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But, on a serious note my splendid reader I know that you already understand what’s going on here because you are intelligent which is why you are here in the first place.

All day long, a good number of us get so enthralled with this idea of instant everything. Instant oatmeal, noodles, macaroni (which by the way is only good when baked & especially Caribbean style), and even instant rice (a sin in my Haitian culture to be quite honest) that we forget the essence of hard work for a tasty meal. This forgetfulness extends itself far beyond food. A prime example is this idea of success via social media. While I have no personal beef with SM, it troubles me that so many of us feel that by receiving a large number of followers, reblogs, retweets, likes etc. (the list goes on) that we are somehow validated. What really bothers me is when people use SM as a way to actually be validated when validation should first come from within.

With that said, there are other instant privileges that have caused us to lack appreciation of a process in order to progress. Remember dial-up internet before high speed took over? I sure do. My siblings and I would have to take turns on who would make a phone call or use the internet. No in betweens.


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Good Ol Dial-Up Internet

How about Blockbuster or renting VHS tapes or DVDs from the library? Again, I do. There was no instant click of a button to Netflix. Not to mention the other irritating factor of texting which took 5-10 minutes per character and that’s me being generous.

Blockbuster You Were So Good To Us


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Nevertheless, the reason I kept bringing up popcorn earlier is because when we really think about it most of us have never tasted how good stovetop popcorn probably is. Hell, I haven’t but I have tasted fresh popcorn from a popcorn machine and it is by far way tastier than the one you just pop into the microwave. So I can only imagine what stovetop popcorn would be like once met with my tastebuds. The point is, we don’t know how its natural flavor because most of us have never taken out the time it takes to make it from scratch. We are missing that authentic taste because we aren’t willing to do what it takes to achieve that authenticity. This goes hand in hand with success and reaching your dreams. You’ve got to be willing to put one foot in front of the other and take individual steps. No rushing.

“What really bothers me is when people use SM [social media] as a way to actually be validated when validation should first come from within.”

With that said, it’s time out for allowing social media or the climate of our society to dictate how fast or slow we go when it comes to succeeding. Every individual who we now consider to be a legend of some sort has done something legendary over a period of time. One of my favorite memes says, “Beyonce/Oprah wasn’t built in a day,” and we all know the original phrase goes “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Now what does Rome, Oprah and Beyonce have to do with anything I’m saying here?


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Think about it, Rome was once one of the greatest empires in the world, Beyonce is now known as one of the greatest entertainers in the world (no…that is not debatable), and Oprah…well need I say more?

Of course the list goes on of remarkable kingdoms, people, and such but you get the point. It troubles me that the generation behind me and many in my own are so obsessed with instant fame/success. All of these instantaneous moments of clout or praise are often fleeting. You can very well have what it takes to fly high for a moment, but the real focus should be whether or not you have what it takes to remain afloat. 15 seconds doesn’t last as long as you may expect or want it to last.

If you are in the midst of climbing the ladder to of your dreams I want you to be reminded that the longer it takes to make something usually means it will also taste way better. Fruits and vegetables are not instantly sprouted up out of the ground (maybe the GMO ones are…) but for the most part it takes the planting of a seed, care, fertile soil, water, good aim of sunlight, and most importantly it takes some time to produce these foods.

“You can very well have what it takes to fly high for a moment, but the real focus should be whether or not you have what it takes to remain afloat.”

Don’t be afraid of the tick tocking of any clock. Granted, we are not all allotted the same amount of time on this earth but while we are here the best way to show how much we are grateful for this time is by enjoying it now. Go in the direction of where your heart is pulling you and work for whatever it is that you are passionate about. If you haven’t quite found that passion yet, check out your hobbies and what genuinely excites you. Eventually you will find something that will help to fulfill you.


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Regardless of what you choose to go for in life, remember that instant success is bland just like instant rice. You want your success to have some spices in it, a good sturdy pot to hold it, and a good amount of time coupled with the right amount of heat to cook it right to perfection. Yum, now that’s what I call a meal!

Today’s Takeout (formerly *takeaway)

  1. True success tastes better when cooked for a while.

  2. Popcorn also tastes better when cooked  for a while.

  3. Validation is even more valid when sought from within.

  4. It is more important to focus on longevity when it comes to success as opposed to focusing on instant and possibly fleeting moments of success. 

If you enjoyed this read or want to add to the conversation please do NOT hesitate to comment below. Make sure to share this with friends, family coworkers, associates, exes, besties, and anyone else who may need a word of encouragement. Until next time splendid readers!

 

Serenity, Smiles and Positive Vibes,

J.S.