self•lationship: serenity volume 1
the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.
“an oasis of serenity amidst the bustling city”
When you see the word SERENITY, what comes to mind? For me, I see and hear the words “serene, peace, calm and focus,” in my mind. I even think of Serena Williams, just cause her name is similar to it LOL and obviously seeing how dope she is brings me peace. Either way, I think of good things, good people, and good spaces.
I see beyond cluttered rooms, homes, cars, kitchens and minds. I simply see clarity. That is one of the reasons I use SERENITY in so much of my branding. By signing off each week on my YouTube videos and in my past blog posts with the phrase, “Serenity, Smiles and Positive Vibes,” I am wishing my readers and viewers well. I am speaking a comfort over their lives, even if just for a few minutes to a moment.
Now more specifically, when I speak to my sisters, my friends and anyone close to me, I want them to feel the same love that I have been trying so hard to pour into myself. This has been one heck of a journey for me in terms of healing but I refuse to slow down. As a single Black Woman and just a Black Woman in this world in general, I am not automatically granted peace of mind the way others are in this world. I am not allowed to be simply me.
We are told that we are too rough, too loud, sometimes even labeled masculine for the darkness of our hues or the bellow in some of our voices. We aren’t tiny enough to be considered dainty or extra feminine. Yet, if we are comfortable dressing or presenting/identifying as masculine, we are shut down too. On the flip side, if we are too quiet or present our boundaries with others in a firm manner, we all of a sudden have an “Attitude problem.”
No matter what you do as a Black Woman, you are viewed, consumed and judged. Now pair that with not having a “Knight in Shining Armour,” by your side, you are now considered, “lacking something.”
I am here to remind you that all of these things are severely untrue. You are more than enough even if there are people who may consider you too much. With that in mind, never forget that you are more than enough for yourself too.
Because we aren’t afforded the same levels of privilege in terms of peace, it is important for us to build and foster our own. That is where finding your own serenity comes in. What makes you smile? What kinds of shows have you giggling nonstop? What foods fill your belly with pure satisfaction? What activities bring you joy? Who do you feel the most safe with? Where is your tribe?
By focusing on fostering energies of peace in and around your life, you begin to find your serenity in the smallest ways leading to the bigger ones. Now you are learning and leaning into who you are which helps others to know you more. If we don’t know ourselves, we can’t expect others to.
So I ask you again, where and how do you find your serenity from day to day? Comment below, I would love to know!
In the meantime, my top 5 ways to find serenity include the following:
Being a Creative.
Going to the beach.
Devouring Haitian food.
Long talks with people I love.