serenity vol. 1: finding your serenity


self•lationship: serenity volume 1




  1. the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.

    “an oasis of serenity amidst the bustling city”

When you see the word SERENITY, what comes to mind? For me, I see and hear the words “serene, peace, calm and focus,” in my mind. I even think of Serena Williams, just cause her name is similar to it LOL and obviously seeing how dope she is brings me peace. Either way, I think of good things, good people, and good spaces.

I see beyond cluttered rooms, homes, cars, kitchens and minds. I simply see clarity. That is one of the reasons I use SERENITY in so much of my branding. By signing off each week on my YouTube videos and in my past blog posts with the phrase, Serenity, Smiles and Positive Vibes,” I am wishing my readers and viewers well. I am speaking a comfort over their lives, even if just for a few minutes to a moment.

Now more specifically, when I speak to my sisters, my friends and anyone close to me, I want them to feel the same love that I have been trying so hard to pour into myself. This has been one heck of a journey for me in terms of healing but I refuse to slow down. As a single Black Woman and just a Black Woman in this world in general, I am not automatically granted peace of mind the way others are in this world. I am not allowed to be simply me.

We are told that we are too rough, too loud, sometimes even labeled masculine for the darkness of our hues or the bellow in some of our voices. We aren’t tiny enough to be considered dainty or extra feminine. Yet, if we are comfortable dressing or presenting/identifying as masculine, we are shut down too. On the flip side, if we are too quiet or present our boundaries with others in a firm manner, we all of a sudden have an “Attitude problem.”

No matter what you do as a Black Woman, you are viewed, consumed and judged. Now pair that with not having a “Knight in Shining Armour,” by your side, you are now considered, “lacking something.”

I am here to remind you that all of these things are severely untrue. You are more than enough even if there are people who may consider you too much. With that in mind, never forget that you are more than enough for yourself too.

Because we aren’t afforded the same levels of privilege in terms of peace, it is important for us to build and foster our own. That is where finding your own serenity comes in. What makes you smile? What kinds of shows have you giggling nonstop? What foods fill your belly with pure satisfaction? What activities bring you joy? Who do you feel the most safe with? Where is your tribe?

By focusing on fostering energies of peace in and around your life, you begin to find your serenity in the smallest ways leading to the bigger ones. Now you are learning and leaning into who you are which helps others to know you more. If we don’t know ourselves, we can’t expect others to.

So I ask you again, where and how do you find your serenity from day to day? Comment below, I would love to know!

In the meantime, my top 5 ways to find serenity include the following:

  1. Coffee shops.

  2. Being a Creative.

  3. Going to the beach.

  4. Devouring Haitian food.

  5. Long talks with people I love.


One Step At a Time

healing, inspiration, inspirational blog, inspo blog

Originally Posted on November 18, 2017 by Sophonie

Our society today is inundated with this idea that success is just like microwaveable popcorn. I know that may sound strange upon first hearing it but really think about it. How long does it take for some instant popcorn to be made? The popcorn bag instructions usually state that it needs to be microwaved for about a minute and some change, so anywhere from 1:50-2:00 minutes. You throw your bag of popcorn in, set the cooking time, and wait for the joyful sounds of ‘pop, pop, pop’ to eventually ring in your ears and then within just a few minutes…


Pic Source

BOOM! Your lovely snack or college dinner is done.

Now consider this, how many us of have actually made popcorn from scratch? I sure haven’t. In fact, as I am typing this I am googling how long it takes to make homemade popcorn. In fact, how many of us have even made popcorn using a popcorn machine? *crickets*

Popcorn Machine Goodness (Gif Source)


Exactly. Now, if you have worked in food service or residence life back in college (me) you might be familiar with how to work it or at the very least how to clean it (…me again). Either way, if you are making popcorn on the stove or via a machine it takes time. Even the process after you are done making it takes even more time. You have to wash the pan, or the different parts of the machine carefully with soap to remove residue. Let’s not forget why or how these items got dirty in the first place. Think about the oil, and salt or your seasoning of choice. All of those ingredients eventually come together to produce buildup on the pan or the machine.

Speaking of machine, prior to even using it you’ve got to heat it up for a good 3-4 minutes first and the same thing goes for the stovetop directions.  All in all in order to make popcorn it takes multiple steps for tasty results. In order for some quality popped corn you’ve got to be willing to take it slow.

Now why the in the world am I referencing all things popcorn? You clicked on this post to learn what it means to take it one step at a time, right? If not, you are on the wrong post.

Alright, alright enough with the jokes, I know they’re getting dry.


But, on a serious note my splendid reader I know that you already understand what’s going on here because you are intelligent which is why you are here in the first place.

All day long, a good number of us get so enthralled with this idea of instant everything. Instant oatmeal, noodles, macaroni (which by the way is only good when baked & especially Caribbean style), and even instant rice (a sin in my Haitian culture to be quite honest) that we forget the essence of hard work for a tasty meal. This forgetfulness extends itself far beyond food. A prime example is this idea of success via social media. While I have no personal beef with SM, it troubles me that so many of us feel that by receiving a large number of followers, reblogs, retweets, likes etc. (the list goes on) that we are somehow validated. What really bothers me is when people use SM as a way to actually be validated when validation should first come from within.

With that said, there are other instant privileges that have caused us to lack appreciation of a process in order to progress. Remember dial-up internet before high speed took over? I sure do. My siblings and I would have to take turns on who would make a phone call or use the internet. No in betweens.


Good Ol Dial-Up Internet

How about Blockbuster or renting VHS tapes or DVDs from the library? Again, I do. There was no instant click of a button to Netflix. Not to mention the other irritating factor of texting which took 5-10 minutes per character and that’s me being generous.

Blockbuster You Were So Good To Us


Nevertheless, the reason I kept bringing up popcorn earlier is because when we really think about it most of us have never tasted how good stovetop popcorn probably is. Hell, I haven’t but I have tasted fresh popcorn from a popcorn machine and it is by far way tastier than the one you just pop into the microwave. So I can only imagine what stovetop popcorn would be like once met with my tastebuds. The point is, we don’t know how its natural flavor because most of us have never taken out the time it takes to make it from scratch. We are missing that authentic taste because we aren’t willing to do what it takes to achieve that authenticity. This goes hand in hand with success and reaching your dreams. You’ve got to be willing to put one foot in front of the other and take individual steps. No rushing.

“What really bothers me is when people use SM [social media] as a way to actually be validated when validation should first come from within.”

With that said, it’s time out for allowing social media or the climate of our society to dictate how fast or slow we go when it comes to succeeding. Every individual who we now consider to be a legend of some sort has done something legendary over a period of time. One of my favorite memes says, “Beyonce/Oprah wasn’t built in a day,” and we all know the original phrase goes “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Now what does Rome, Oprah and Beyonce have to do with anything I’m saying here?


Pic Source

Think about it, Rome was once one of the greatest empires in the world, Beyonce is now known as one of the greatest entertainers in the world (no…that is not debatable), and Oprah…well need I say more?

Of course the list goes on of remarkable kingdoms, people, and such but you get the point. It troubles me that the generation behind me and many in my own are so obsessed with instant fame/success. All of these instantaneous moments of clout or praise are often fleeting. You can very well have what it takes to fly high for a moment, but the real focus should be whether or not you have what it takes to remain afloat. 15 seconds doesn’t last as long as you may expect or want it to last.

If you are in the midst of climbing the ladder to of your dreams I want you to be reminded that the longer it takes to make something usually means it will also taste way better. Fruits and vegetables are not instantly sprouted up out of the ground (maybe the GMO ones are…) but for the most part it takes the planting of a seed, care, fertile soil, water, good aim of sunlight, and most importantly it takes some time to produce these foods.

“You can very well have what it takes to fly high for a moment, but the real focus should be whether or not you have what it takes to remain afloat.”

Don’t be afraid of the tick tocking of any clock. Granted, we are not all allotted the same amount of time on this earth but while we are here the best way to show how much we are grateful for this time is by enjoying it now. Go in the direction of where your heart is pulling you and work for whatever it is that you are passionate about. If you haven’t quite found that passion yet, check out your hobbies and what genuinely excites you. Eventually you will find something that will help to fulfill you.


Regardless of what you choose to go for in life, remember that instant success is bland just like instant rice. You want your success to have some spices in it, a good sturdy pot to hold it, and a good amount of time coupled with the right amount of heat to cook it right to perfection. Yum, now that’s what I call a meal!

Today’s Takeout (formerly *takeaway)

  1. True success tastes better when cooked for a while.

  2. Popcorn also tastes better when cooked  for a while.

  3. Validation is even more valid when sought from within.

  4. It is more important to focus on longevity when it comes to success as opposed to focusing on instant and possibly fleeting moments of success. 

If you enjoyed this read or want to add to the conversation please do NOT hesitate to comment below. Make sure to share this with friends, family coworkers, associates, exes, besties, and anyone else who may need a word of encouragement. Until next time splendid readers!


Serenity, Smiles and Positive Vibes,


Your Situation Is Not Your Destination


I am going to keep this sweet, petite and straight to the point. While I do feel like I speak about this topic a lot, I think it is important to do so. Nearly every single week I hear from friends or even strangers online who talk about how they feel stuck in their situation. Hell, even I am one of those friends who feels stuck sometimes.

So, listen up my splendid friends, fam and followers there is no reason why you can’t elevate to the next level. However, there is also no reason to rush it. Life comes in steps, pieces and within the allotted time that it needs to. You have no reason to try to jump from building to building in hopes of leaping to your success immediately. I’ve talk about microwave success before, like in that one post I told you all to take life One Step At a Time

Nonetheless, we must remain guarded from these moments of impatience in life. Yes there are some situations that seem to go on and on forever. Also, there are some situations that I will be honest won’t quite fit with this post in itself. But, for the more minor situations where we feel like we simply aren’t getting what we want or fand never will, this post is perfect. 

“You have no reason to try to jump from building to building in hopes of leaping to your success immediately.”

One of the ways we actually become or remain stuck in life is when we start to believe that things cannot change. Our mindset plays an overwhelmingly large part in how we view our life. With that said, if your perspective is in a dark & gloomy state, chances are that is how things will continue to go. They say that your “Energy flows where your attention goes.” To paint the picture more clear for you, remember how on cartoons when a character was having a terrible day you’d see that dark rain cloud over their head the whole episode. Well, that is basically how our lives can be. When we become so invested in these feelings of negativity, the universe responds to that and I also believe God begins to truly test your faith here (for those who are believers).

Overall, the more we turn our attention to how bad things are, the more those problems are amplified. Of course, the pain may not automatically go away like an on & off switch BUT now you are experiencing these issues on a much deeper scope.

“Our mindset plays an overwhelmingly large part in how we view our life.”

While I understand it is hard to see past the rubble of life when you feel you are buried underneath it but it is worth it to at least try to focus on how you will feel once you are out of the situation. Once you begin to visualize and consider how good that will feel, that is when your faith begins to grow as well. It also helps you to pass the time while you are experiencing hardship.

Things to Remember

1) Don’t rush your situation, there are lessons to be learned even in the darkest of days

2) The more you focus on negative circumstances the more they are amplified

3) Consider how it will feel once you are out if it aka visualize


P.S. I know that these steps or words of advice are easier said than done. I’ll admit it is a process but it is also possible. So before you think this can’t or won’t apply to your life, try it first 





Serenity, Smiles & Positive Vibes,